I am trying to write more and more.  Sometimes my anal side kicks in and criticizes the mess out of me.  This often causes a brain freeze which only leads to that ever horrid diseas of dum dum de dum! WRITERS BLOCK!

What is a an aspiring author to do?

Well there is this wonderful exercise called free writing where you make up a plethora of starter sentences, choose one at random and go at it without stopping.  Below is my first attempt at this.  I made 12 starter phrases and used a 12-sided die to find the one to write with (Being a D&D nerd can be handy at times).  Number six was chosen.

The amazing thing is that well… it worked!  I was past my brain freeze, able to move on in writing my book.

The very crux of free writing is that you don’t edit while you write.  I have gone back and edited the free-written story a little to make it worthy to be read by you.  Enjoy!

8/16/10

This isn’t what I would call a chocolate spaghetti pie. Briana didn’t know what I was talking about of course.  She couldn’t see what I could, namely the fact that this gloopy mess before me was hardly edible.  But that’s what you get for giving an eight-year-old free rein in the kitchen.

“Look daddy I made you breakfast.”

I smiled in a chagrin sort of way.  Sue was out for the week on another one of her business trips leaving me in charge of the house.

“Well thank you honey it looks so beautiful.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“Well no I guess it doesn’t.”

“It isn’t supposed to look good it’s only supposed to taste good.”

As sound as Briana’s theory of the culinary arts may have been, I had a sneaky suspicion that looks would not be deceiving this go around.

“Well, sit down.  I’ll serve you.”

I sat down and she served me… a big portion of the dripping gloopy mess.  My nose sent me warnings of what was to come.  I couldn’t stop to scold its rudeness because Briana’s drooping blue eyes were looking right into me, in that expectant sort of way kids are born with.  I’m about to take a bite when the phone rings.

“I’ll get it!”  She says with glee leaving me alone to face her creation.  Before I can relax my smiling face, she returns with phone in hand.  “It’s mommy!”

I take the phone and listen politely as Sue scolds me, even from five thousand miles away.  It is a rather fun tradition of hers and I’m not one to break it.  Her scolding gets darker and darker as I nod my head and droop my shoulders.  My fork plays with the culinary mess of food until I idly grab a bit and test it with my tongue.

“—and you just never listen to me!  No matter how many times I say it.  Fred are you there?”

“A-huh.”

Suddenly the food is looking very tasty at the moment.  I take a bittersweet bite of the stuff.

“Well I hope you listen to this!  I’m leaving you, leaving you for another man!”

My shoulders arch up.  Did I hear her right?

“Fred did you hear me?”

Yes, I guess I did.  Briana is playing with her dolls on the floor.  Sue never liked her playing on the floor.

“Do you know why I’m leaving you?”

“Tell me when you get back.”

“Don’t you hang that phone up on me!”

I hang that phone up on her.  Briana is lifted off the ground and into my arms.

“Did it taste good daddy?”

“It tasted wonderful.  How would you like to go to the zoo today?”

She takes my hat off the rack and places it on my head.  We leave the house with the phone ringing on and on behind us.