Can’t Buy Me Love

Song of Solomon 8:7

Many waters cannot quench love,

    neither can floods drown it.

If a man offered for love

    all the wealth of his house,

    he would be utterly despised.

If a man were to offer any type of works for love it would also be utterly despised. Do works of art fit into this?

As an artist, I know that I will create many songs and write many books for my beloved. But these things would not be a purchase of a transaction to win her affections. It isn’t like I write enough songs to purchase a kiss from her, maybe the song I wrote isn’t even liked, well, that gives me a hug at least. 

If she does like my song, and say, somehow it goes on to top the charts, Do I then hold it over her head for the rest of her life? If she’s exhausted after a hard day’s work and I want her to make me a sandwich, do I hold the platinum record of the song I wrote for her and protest, “You owe me”? Then she pulls out her notebook and checks it off. This is the 500th sandwich she’s made for me because of this song. She owes me 500 more.

After 10 years of her making me sandwiches, when the final one is checked off, must I then go and make another top-of-the-charts song about our love in order for her to make me more sandwiches?

What a horrible way to live! True love is not a transaction. It is something freely given. 

So what then, do I stop writing songs and novels for her? By no means! But these works do not purchase her love. They are an outgrowth of my love for her. In return, I might write a song she doesn’t really like. She still might kiss me, not for the skill or lack thereof, but because she simply appreciates the time I took to write the song. 

The song is a symbol of love, an outgrowth of deeper feelings. It isn’t love itself. 

An Oxymoron

Abusive love (if I can call it that) is built on transactions. The entitled abuser points out all that he’s done for her with the implication that she owes him.

Love is Grace

Godly love is freely given, based on grace. A godly marriage is also built this way. This is very freeing! You don’t have to write a top-of-the-charts song to win a woman’s affection. Anyone from a carpenter to a janitor can find ways to show affection to their spouses, works that act as an outgrowth of deeply held love. But the depth of it is found in things that money can’t buy, those being the fruit of the Spirit.

My art won’t purchase her love, agape love and gentleness and kindness and self-control and faithfulness and other things works cannot earn… these are what will draw her to me.

How can she know of these things in me? Conversations are a good start.

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