O the Places We’ll Go

The husband is not called to be a dictator. Ephesians 5 calls the woman to submit to her husband, yes, but the man is called to love the wife as Christ loved and gave Himself up for the church. The wife submits. The husband sacrifices. In fact, when Ephsians 5 says, “Husbands love your wives…” it is using the highest form, that of agape love. 

Paul defines agape love in 1 Corinthians 13. One of its distinguishing factors is that agape love “does not insist on its own way”. So, I say it again. Husbands are not called to be dictators. They are called to love their wives by not insisting on their own way. 

If the man sacrifices and the woman submits, then both are loving each other and there is no abuse.

Sure, a woman should align with her husband and the husband should be the head of the family, but there are times when the man sacrifices his dictations, giving way for the woman’s ideas. Ideally, both should act of one accord, discussing their life together and finding the best way to please the Lord.

My Ideal

In my post, A Simple Quiet Life, I spoke on how it would be nice to have the stay at home job of writing books and songs. Perhaps a wife could be a muse in helping me sing and working out the plots and adventures I write. But, I want so much more. I want a wife who has songs and book ideas of her own. I would love to support and give way for her artistic sensibilities should she wish it. 

If such a thing were possible, we could travel the world. All we’d need are laptops, suitcases, and hotels with a working piano.  We could see Viena, Florence, London, and Berlin; escape to Montreal or Quebec; steal away to Sydney Australia. Nothing could imprison us. And we’d write stories and ideas, sometimes together and at other times apart, sharing ideas and plots and characters and world building ideas. 

If she approached me with an idea of her own, I would merely suggest (never insist) just talk it out and see where it leads. And, my goodness would I need help with my books! If she would but speak I would be silent and hear. 

A good man listens to his wife, and a good wife feels safe enough to speak her heart. 

My songs would also not be so set in stone. I need her input and thoughts… my songs would change with her around. 

But where can I find such a soul, a woman with a vivid imagination that can write her own ideas and stories and songs; a woman who would feel safe enough to share them with me; a woman who would take a chance with me? 

If I found such a one, I would do all that I could to help her find me. Even in the dark I would seek some sort of solid footing, maybe accidentally stepping on her toes at times. My only hope is that such a one would be gracious to me, take a chance with me, turn up the light a bit and let me see a little of what she is thinking. 

If I knew her mind, I would not be a dictator to her. I would be an ear. But blindness I fear has overcome me. I cannot see the path before me. Even asking, “how do I not hurt you?” I  have somehow hurt her.

Pull me out of this darkness, oh Lord. If such a woman exists, help me to find her, and when I do help me not hurt her.

And if in my attempting to help I hurt her, mercy, oh Lord, I pray for mercy and grace. I pray she’d also take a chance with me. 

But, this is only an ideal, a very rare and uncertain thing. In either case, whoever God brings into my life, I will love her, listen to her, sacrifice for, and hope that she also submits and trusts and is open to me.

The one thing I will never be is her dictator. 

Lord give me the strength to listen to her silent voice. Somewhere in the midst of it is a quiet whisper in the wind. What is she trying to tell me? 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s