The Bibleperson Personality Test

In a previous post I talk about the ungodly effects of Myers Briggs and the Enneagram. We must use the bible to discern ourselves and others, not the knowledge of this world.

The Enneagram is demonic as this short video demonstrates.

Automatic writing means freeing the mind and allowing a demon to write what it wishes through your body. Doreen Virtue, an ex-fortune teller explains this well in another video that I go over. 

In this video she interviews a pastor’s wife who once taught Enneagram in the church. From this person’s experience, it leads to pride and even an allowance of sin!

Enneagram and their like, put you in your comfort zone. They point out your leanings and say, “Stay there!”

God calls us out of our comfort zone so that we give up our glory for the sake of His. We are called to worship Him and Him alone. This means all of the fruit of the Spirit must be demonstrated. This is a sign of His grace in us which produces obedience to the new law placed within our hearts.

Welcome to Newest New Life Church!

To demonstrate the opposite of this, I’ve decided to use godly satire, exaggeration, and good old-fashioned sarcasm. Let us return to the made-up church of Newest New Life. For it turns out, they’ve found something much better than the Enneagram.

“Welcome to Newest New Life Church! I’m so happy that you’ve come to visit our website. Before we begin to plug you in to 1 or 2 or 3 of the 1001 ministries and outreaches that will take valuable time away from your family so that you neglect your kids and they grow up to hate you and turn away from the faith, let’s get to know you better.

“Most churches use outdated and boring personality tests to find out your quirks, your fears, and your longing. We have come up with our own patented way of getting to know you better. Introducing the Bibleperson Personality Test!

“But where did it come from?

“A saved Buddist monk once visited one of our outreach services. He repented of his sins and joined the church! For 3 months of dedicated service, he was a valuable member. From his Christ-conscious and other-beings-pantheon conscious meditations he started hearing voices. These voices told him how to split up portions of the bible so that they fit the new you! This means we can cut out the parts of the Word of God that aren’t important to the you that you are! It makes reading the bubble, I mean the bible, much easier! We will even add an earpiece that beeps out the passages our pastor preaches which aren’t in tune with your personality. This is at no extra cost of course (except your regular, ((be a cheerfully-cheerful giver now)) tithes and offerings that we enforce on all of our members and guests). Some people claim they hear nothing but beeps in service, but you’ll get used to it.

“The Buddhist monk who came up with the Bibleperson Personality Test has since returned to his home in Tibet, to be a missionary of course. Even though we haven’t heard from him since, I’m sure he’s doing his duty to tell his Buddist buddies how they too can meditate on Jesus along with whatever else they want to meditate on.

“So, answer these 500 questions as accurately as you can. This will point you to your proper beatitude (Matthew 5:1-12). The beatitude you become has specific fruits of the Spirit that explain it more clearly (Galatians 5:22-24).

“For example: some are meant to be poor in spirit. This means they give most of their money to our ministries. Naturally, this gives them the fruit of patience and long-suffering which makes them frustrated. In this beatitude, they no longer need to focus too much on the fruit of love.

“On the opposite side is the pure in heart. For they will see God’s face. This means love and peace but with no need for faith because you’re already seeing God! The office of prophets tend to be this one… unless they’re not very loving. Those types of prophets are what we call the meek ones.

“Some give mercy to others, but that’s a very rare one. Most tend to pay their enemies back. As our pastor always quotes, ‘You do you. Live and let live.’ Still looking at where he found that in the bible.

“The crybaby mourners always need someone to pat them on the back. They’re usually the artsy ones.

“The hunger after righteousness ones tend to read a lot of big books. This means they have patience. Just don’t disturb them while they read. They’ll bite your head off.

“Peacemakers usually join 1 of our 10 debate teams.

“The persecuted ones… well, that’s an outdated personality. No one is persecuted anymore. Everyone is just nice and lovely. Although, there is the occasional missionary who claims this.

“Once you’ve uncovered your unique beatitude and the specific fruit that go along with it, we can start defining which pieces of the armor of God you will need and which ones to ignore (Ephesians 6:10-18).

“This will lead to which of the 10 commandments you need to follow and which ones that, because of your unique personality, God’s grace has taken away meaning that you can ignore them as well (Exodus 20:1-17).

“Those who are pure in heart don’t need the shield of faith. This means, little to no protection against the enemy’s arrows. Sorry, it’s just your personality type. Only those hungry for righteousness need the belt of truth. If you are a peacemaker, don’t worry about the sword. The mourners are too busy being sad. They get nothing.

“Only the pure ones need to worry about the first commandment. Only the hungry ones need to go to church regularly. The peacemakers can ignore the first 4 commandments altogether. They just need to focus on the final 6 about how to treat one another.”

I Hope you Get the Point

Personality tests tend to fragment your soul. They point to the obvious bits of you and say, “This is all that you are!” If I am an artist with a lot of feelings (which I am), I guess that means I can never learn how to fix my car. 

Turns out, my current job does have a lot of creativity involved, but there are also many technical things that need to get done. If my boss comes over and asks me to do something tedious and technical… do I pull out some sort of personality card and tell him, “I don’t have the correct license to do this”?

Who can know what bits and pieces we have inside? 

Socrates said, “To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.”

But Solomon said in Proverbs 9:10

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.

So, instead of trying to find yourself, lose yourself to Christ. Lose your life. Don’t save it.

Sorry Disney, believing in yourself is demonic.

Matthew 16

24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? 27 For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done. 28 Truly, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”

Works Cited

The Holy Bible esv 

Matthew 5

3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

5 “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Galatians 5

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Ephesians 6

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,

Exodus 20

And God spoke all these words, saying,

2 “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.

3 “You shall have no other gods before me.

4 “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. 5 You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.

7 “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain.

8 “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. 11 For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

13 “You shall not murder.

14 “You shall not commit adultery.

15 “You shall not steal.

16 “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.”

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